alanda

The bright eyed Saphira looked up. It had been three years since she had seen Sammy, but every rustle made her think of her last meeting with him, his chocolate brown eyes flicking desperately from left to right looking for someone, or something, Saphira didnt know what. "I have to go away for a while," he had whispered to her. "I promise you I'll try and make it back and I'll try and find you. I'll never forget you" She tucked her curly black hair behind her ear and went back to reading her book. When would Sammy come back to her? She hadn't lost hope, despite her friends and family trying to convince her otherwise. She was sat under her

You say that you are the one well im not so sure you say that you won't harm me again i dunno you say that nothing will break us how can you be so sure you dont know me i dont know you yet here we are in this intricate tango once more we dance around with ease i follow your lead although you dont know the way to go in my heart i know that you are right i don't always know whats going on but one thing i do know you will be there regardless whether i want you to or not im not so sure what i would do without you yet i have no idea what to do with you either

slowly screaming releasing anger releasing fear then the tears come gushing out releasing pain relieving anguish slowly you realise you arent alone they are watching you judging you keeping you back holding you down so you start to retreat into yourself withdrawing from the pain the anger the fear bringing back the anguish you felt you start to build a wall but it cant protect you you still feel it you still want to cry you hide it from people to stop them thinking you are weak pathetic you cant cope when deep down you know they are right you cant cope with the pain the frustration the failure slowly the fee

holding you i look in to your eyes and see love and hope bringing you closer to me kissing your beautiful lips watching your gorgeous eyes rubbinng your back feeling you beneath your clothes your muscles ripple kissing your strong neck i love you with all my heart your smile is a doorway to happiness your kiss is a sommersault in ecstasy your eyes a gateway to love holding you i wish i never had to let you go i love you

swelling a great lump just south of the heart and north of the stomach consuming all body squirming all over tryiing to get out wishing you could disappear waiting for you to say more making you more embarassed the swellingi increases making you wish you were gone your cheeks have coloured your palms are sweaty you wish you werent there you wish you hadnt said anything you feel worthless until it takes you over an you dwell on it swelling larger and larger until it takes you over

Why does everything with you involve a fight? Why do you claim you love me when you dont act like it? Why are you so keen on keeping me downtrodden? Why do i have to act like your slave yet you get annoyed if i ask you to do the same? Why did you have me when you are turning me into you why? when you dont like who you are Why, Dad, Why? I know you care but sometimes i really wonder

I love you regardless you say you feel insecure but i dont understand why i'm here for the long run you push me away when i want to take you close you say you dont want to take the next step i'll be here when you are ready you say i know you better than you know yourself yet you are still an enigma to me why cant you see that im feeling round in the dark trying to understand you I love you regardless i dont mean to make you feel upset i dont mean to shut you out of my problems i just dont want to add to yours i love you regardless you are my everything

i love you but it scares me i know you think we will be together forever but i still feel unsure you think i'm something i'm not pretty, funny and happy i know the real me ugly mean and low you hold me in your arms saying we will be together forever but i sit there wondering what will happen you want us to take the next step when im not sure if we should have taken the last one you support me no matter what yet you wont let me help you you think you know me how can you when i dont know myself? I love you with all my heart i never want to let you go but sometimes i feel you are encouraging my problems so you dont have to